Youth fading

This week's You Capture struck an instant chord: Youth. I sighed, I had a milestone birthday, it seemed I was fated to write one of those reflective posts I love from other bloggers about where I am in life right now. 

I have no idea. Really. I hit 21 with optimism and a world full of possibilities: I had time to make mistakes. Now at 30 it seems a little less free. Words like mortgages, career goals, work-life balance have entered my vocabulary. There's also the alarming amount of friends married or having children. I've never had that as a goal so I remain confused but seeing them all doing it sure makes you ponder.

Why is it that we hit birthdays and decide 'I had to be HERE by NOW'? I was never going to be married to Colin Firth, even I knew it was a whimsy but still, there were a few things I'd like to have knocked out the park by now. To be honest, lately, life has kind of kicked my ass and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for my 30s. Shouldn't I be done with hangups and lack of confidence by now? I look at girls in the bars in their early 20s and think 'Slow down girly, you have so much to enjoy. Lay back, enjoy the ride.' So I know I must have dropped some of that. But still, I'm not exactly reaching for the stars or hitting my stride yet. I kind of hoped I would be.

So do I make resolutions? Goals? Reinvent myself? Nope. I make more tea and watch the pretty cat dancing in the sunshine over there by the stunning cherry blossoms and think about laundry and going to pilates at long last. 

I never did make it to dance this week.....