Yesterday was an enormously overwhelming day and I am so grateful to the many people who reached out and encouraged me to hit publish on this post.
Here we go....
I never really explained why I ran with the theme ‘Women as Makers’ across the blog and podcast this month. I let others fill in that answer with their smooth, strong voices. I’ve interviewed lots of women and in fact, have quite a backlog to share with you. I found it easier to let others say what I wish to express. It’s a habit I have. I like to celebrate beautiful projects, successful businesses and voices that truly resonate within our creative community. I am not always very good at pushing forward a voice of my own.
When I attended Blogtacular a while ago I was really struck by something Marte Marie Forsberg said:
“promote what you have rather than bashing what you hate”
I wanted to cheer. I turned to a new friend, whose blog was so different from my own and said, “We should write together”. We planned words together and then left each other to write out what we needed the other person to see. The results have been surprising and given me back an identity that I’ve removed from this blog for so long. Collaboration is a powerful thing and when we join forces as women and talk, I am minded that there is no greater power on earth.
I have hinted several times that I have been struggling to write as personally as I used to here in my playful home. Over the past year I have gently erased a side of me that was once able to use the blog for more cathartic means. I created A Playful Day with the intention of always finding a playful moment in every day. Recently, I have stuck dogmatically to that idea here on the blog, on the podcast and across social media. No one was going to catch me being unplayful. No one.
In doing so I removed the stories about motherhood, about what it meant to be me and about the unplayful elements of my life. I didn’t have words for them and in many ways, I still don’t. However, other women have been there in the background of this blog, encouraging me to stay strong and use those playful moments to feed me till a time when I can be more open and more frank.
It’s felt good to define what A Playful Day is. I’ve used its theme and have pushed hard to find a playful moment in every day. I play mostly on here and instagram, sharing pictures and silly stories that make me feel good. For the rest of the time, I interview people whose voices I admire while I work out my own. I write about other people’s lives and hope no one notices that the looking glass never points at me.
I am grateful to my friend Emily who finally let me say something so incredibly hard. I know that she’s holding my hand as I hit publish on this post today too. I know she’s one of a handful of people I’ve trusted to share my struggles as a single parent and I adore each and every one of them.
Single parent. It’s not a very playful phrase.
There’s no magic formula to finding your voice as a woman. There’s no magic solution to being a confident mother. I do know though that thanks to this month’s theme and the incredibly powerful women in my life, I’m now fully present and clear about what I’m doing here on A Playful Day.
Thank you for bearing with me while I figured it out.
If you’d like to read my first foray into parent blogging, you can find it here on Emily’s blog. Emily will be guest posting here very soon too.
Stay playful! x