So it happened a few months ago that I set my alarm to "obscenely early" and made my way into London for a day of filming. I'd been invited to be part of Love Knitting's TV advert and the pitch to appear in it went something like "We're looking for...... Knit Celebrities".
There was a moment of silence my side as I wiped clean the tea that I'd just snorted halfway across my kitchen. "I'm sorry? What?"
On the train up I had time to ponder the oddness of the situation. I was going into London to be filmed with others (who were also "Knit Celebrities" presumably?) and there would be cameras, lighting, a director and make up artists all there to produce this new venture for the Love Knitting crew. I'd been told there was a tier of plans to roll the advert out with interviews and press engagement. As I passed Clapham, I wondered if I'd later recount this story to an audience as I gave a reading from my memoirs. Perhaps I would even quip about the formal training I'd had to hold needles just so when filmed.
When you blog full time, you often find yourself casting around for indicators of success. With this in mind, appearing in a TV advert seemed like a pretty good thing. Clearly what would follow would be interviews on chat show sofas where I would toss my hair and become coy when asked to confirm whether I knit continental or not. Soon I'd need an agent. Soon people wouldn't refer to me as my full name and simply KATE would be enough if I wished to book a table at the most exclusive of restaurants.
Obviously this is exactly what happened.
Well, actually no, no it was not.
In fact I was upstaged by a small terrier wearing a hand knit outfit.
His name was Smiffy and he was pretty slick it has to be said.
All in all I had a great time. I spent most of the day wearing a terrifying shade of lipstick till I caught sight of myself and scrubbed it off in horror. The rest of the time I cackled with Debbie Bliss and her family who I sat with on a London bus that went round and round (and round) Shepherd's Bush. People yelled "Action!" and we fondled knitting in a way that became more hysterical with each take. Rachel Coopey had awesome hair. Lauren from Whodunnit pretended to read The Evening Standard which thoroughly delighted me and I pointed and laughed at her for most of the filming.
Now, if anyone needs me, you will find me on my Chaise Longue, eating Bonbons while I wait for my agent to come and tell me which red carpet Smiffy is to escort me down this weekend.